


Risk Damnation!!

by Skullszeyes



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Friends, Blood, Bonding, Canon-Typical Violence, Cigarettes, Coffee, Confusion, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, First Crush, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship, Gang Violence, Love/Hate, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Protagonist, Male Slash, Mild Blood, Misunderstandings, Oblivious, Orihara Izaya-centric, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, POV Third Person Limited, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Secret Crush, Slow To Update, Smoking, Swearing, Threats of Violence, Underage Smoking, they both have a smoking issue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-02-16 11:26:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18690553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullszeyes/pseuds/Skullszeyes
Summary: Izaya met Shizuo in high school, and he wanted them to collide, but as years go by, he isn't so sure anymore about the destruction they had created, and the friendship between them growing into something else





	1. Collide

It was unintentional, their friendship, the way it began. Izaya had minded his own business during the first weeks of Raira, and sometimes entertained the notion to Shinra when he randomly appeared. Until a particular day when Shinra grasped his wrist before he could make his way out of the school to skip a few classes. Instead he was dragged the other way and was asking Shinra where they were going.

“You haven’t been to school in a long time,” Shinra said, smiling. “I figured maybe you were lonely, we barely have any classes together anyways, and I did find two people who have the same as you do.”

“What are you talking about?” Izaya asked, trying to pull away from Shinra’s grasp. “Let go of my arm!”

“You’re lonely,” Shinra declared loudly in the hallway. “It’s okay. You only need some help, Izaya.”

“I don’t...need help,” Izaya said firmly, but Shinra tightened his hold, and he scowled at his only friend who didn’t seem to realize that he was the only one he needed, not anymore people wandering in his life and then walking out.

Shinra once more didn’t listen to him and hummed as he dragged a reluctant Izaya down the hallway. When they came to a room, he was momentarily surprised as they entered, and Izaya had the urge to step out and sprint away when he looked at two particular people. One was sitting on a sofa that was against the left side of the wall, while the other had the window open and was faced towards it, cigarette smoke filled the room.

They were both recognizable. Mostly the tall blond who Izaya knew as Shizuo Heiwajima. He was the one who was always getting into fights and beating everyone senseless. An infamous temper that Izaya had despised the second he had witnessed the chaos it provoked. For awhile he was amused, but the man couldn’t be talked too or even reasoned with.

From the way a few teachers had tried to speak to him, and later some police officers. He was a wild animal, snapping his teeth at everyone until his own brother arrived to calm him down.

And it made him realize the man was truly uninteresting to him. Another reason for why Izaya skipped school. Shizuo was in most of his classes, and sat near the window where Izaya sat. It was bad enough he waved the smoke from his face, now it seemed Shinra was in the wrong friend group as usual, or maybe he did belong from his rather eccentric personality.

“Izaya, this is—”

“Dotachin,” Izaya waved, provoking his own false friendliness whenever he met new people.

The man wearing the toque narrowed his eyes at him before glancing away. Which did something to his self-esteem before his gaze moved toward Shizuo who didn’t seem to care.

“And Shizuo,” Shinra introduced with his usual glee.

He flicked his cigarette out the window and turned his head, his eyes were heavy with annoyance, and Izaya wasn’t sure if it was because of him. Maybe it was Shinra who stood smiling beside him.

“This is Izaya Orihara,” Shinra said, placing a hand on Izaya’s shoulder.

He guessed their friendship would always end up like this. A mutual dislike that only seemed to grow into profound hatred. Except to Izaya’s interest was that Shizuo’s disregard of him somehow brought a smile to his lips, one that was quite genuine.

He wasn’t sure why, but it wasn’t because Shizuo didn’t see the full picture, or if Izaya wasn’t good enough to fight within the tiny room. He didn’t even want to start a fight, but this was a good observational point to begin with.

Shizuo clicked his tongue, and Izaya wasn’t sure if it was the room or his own heart warming his body as it quickened with each step Shizuo took toward him. He walked with a lazy stride, hands tucked in his pockets, blue coat missing, while his tie was also gone, and the buttons at his collar were undone, showing his neck and collarbone.

He was beautiful.

And Izaya had to bite back the reaction, grasping for spite and disgust, but there was nothing. Not when Shizuo walked by him without a single word leaving his lips, and Shinra went about awkwardly to speak to Kadota who had also rose from the couch and left.

Izaya was at the window when the door closed, leaving him and Shinra in the room.

“I’m sorry, Izaya, they can be like that sometimes,” Shinra said, chuckling to himself while Izaya pressed his fingers in the ash from Shizuo’s cigarette he had left on the window mantle. He pressed his fingers together and turned around to face Shinra, placing his hands behind his back as he curled his fingers into fists.

“It’s okay. I figured they would act that way,” Izaya told him, strutting towards his friend.

“You did?” Shinra asked, brows furrowed, perplexed.

Izaya nodded, placing a hand on Shinra’s shoulder, soft and light, but not as comforting to Izaya as it was to Shinra. “It’s obvious they’re not used to me.” He turned his friend toward the door and he grasped for the knob. “It only makes sense that I figure out a way to get their attention.”

“Both of them?” Shinra asked as they stepped from the room.

Izaya shook his head, closing the door and pressing his back against it. “One will follow the other, while the other is more of a blinding light most can’t look away from. It only makes sense I find a way to snuff it out and see how much it shines after I’m finished.”

Shinra frowned at him. “That sounds terrible, Izaya. I think my plan worked just fine.”

Izaya wrapped an arm around Shinra’s shoulders and leaned in close, “Your plan was a bust, Shinra, no offence, they didn’t like me and they don’t care.”

“Then why do you—”

“Because I don’t like when people disregard me as much as _he_ did.”

“But they both did at the—”

“Shinra, you’re not listening—”

“I am, I just don’t think this is completely necessary.”

Of course Shinra doesn’t think that way. It’s almost ridiculous, but right now, it’s not something Izaya wants to comment on. He had a plan in mind, something as easy to manage in less than an hour.

When it came to fruition, Izaya had watched from the sidelines. Amused by the entire explosion of it in the back of the school. Screams slammed into the air as more bodies lay scattered around a single man with bright yellow hair and a dark empty gaze when he turned his eyes to Izaya.

He started clapping, amused entirely by what he had witnessed. He wanted this to be their momentum, not the sorry excuse of a greeting within the small broom closet where Shizuo smoked. This was their triumph, their peak, absolute in every way.

Shinra had joined, and the exchange between the three of them made him smile before he was shoved to the side. A knife coming free from his pocket, and pointed directly at Shizuo as he had cut his shirt open, leaving a bubble of blood welling from the wound upon his skin.

He had finally provoked another emotion, one that wasn’t blind rage, but of shock and confusion. His gaze focused on Izaya, and it was glorious, a beautiful wrath burning bright under the splintered light.

“Come now, Shizu-chan,” he grinned at the nickname being spoken, and the murderous twitch on Shizuo’s face, “isn’t this fun?”

He supposed those days were as even as any other. More so when Shizuo couldn’t catch up, and other times when Izaya appeared in front of him and he was too tired to bother fighting him. It was like this for several months, on and off again, Izaya would return to school and remind Shizuo of his existence.

He called it bonding.

Shizuo called it annoying.

Izaya had shrugged his shoulders and told him that if they’re bonding in an annoying way, than maybe they could be friends. Shizuo had once more disregarded him with a sneer. The thought of them ever being friends seemed disgusting to him. A disturbing thought that could only come from Izaya. Except he wasn’t kidding, and Izaya knew how to deal with people like Shizuo.

He simply had to wear him down, and refine him.


	2. Deny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya recounts the past and the present, including his own feelings in a state of glee.

He was his restart to the story he told himself everyday since they graduated Raira Academy.

There was cruelty threaded between the grins and spiteful words he spewed to get him to run. To chase him through the narrow streets that elicit screams from the passersby's that were too used to their fights.

He was wild eyes and broken asphalt, a growl of a monster within the shadows that finally stepped into the light. He was beauty and a roar of laughter leaving his neck and bobbing adam’s apple.

Izaya cut his shirt way too many times, trying to find the skin underneath, and looking to it whenever he lifted a vending machine and his shirt rode up where tan unmarred skin sat underneath. He sometimes, foolishly, closed his eyes at night and dreamed of exploring the parts that he was never allowed to touch, and the part he had when the knife slid through and left a scar.

He had bitten his lip at the thought, smiling to himself whenever he skipped along the streets with his phone in his hand. At least he left a mark on his skin, something to always remind him of their friendship that he tried to deny.

It makes him shiver, knowing in some sick twisted part of him that he owns a part of him. Shizuo. That he scarred him, and brought him down to a lower level than the ones humans were on. He didn’t earn that privilege, and there was no point in denying that.

Throughout the years he gave him cruel, biting words, and left him trembling for more. Oh, how much more he wanted from a man who was not mortal, but took on shadows in his blood. The sun made him beautiful under its gaze, and the moon’s silver light casted divine upon bright artificial strands that were mud underneath.

He wished he could run his fingers through both colored hair. The yellow and the brown, and stare in the eyes of someone who wore no hate or disregard. A phantom pain bruised him in his chest, and Izaya rubbed the pain away while his pace came to a crawl as he turned the corner.

It wasn’t like he looked for him, or even bothered to care, but his sense of smell was strong and he growled the insult in his face whenever they met.

“Flea!”

Izaya arched his brows and smiled at Shizuo standing several feet away. He used to pretend to fear him, surrounded by light posts that could tear from the ground, nothing in the hands of a monster ravaging the city streets. He’d pretend he didn’t taste blood on his lips after when he walked home in the silence. Nothing but his heart racing, and the expectation of them seeing one another again.

There was something about the blurry edges and exhilaration he thrives on when he seeks out the danger. Whatever it was, he would continue to deny it, but sometimes it would be a secret to himself in the late nights when he curled around his blankets, and smiled in the dark that what he felt for Shizuo was dangerous, a love so violent that he won’t let anyone touch Shizuo and take his focus away from him.

He liked it, when Shinra asked about their relationship, and Izaya had cackled and told him he was a hypocrite. He was the reason why they became the unlikely friends that they were. That even Shizuo could stand Izaya’s presence longer than ten minutes, and usually he was calm before he broke another cigarette between his fingers. He liked it, because he was able to give himself away to Shizuo, everything without a single ounce of pretending that he hated him, or that the pain he’d wake up later on in the day was anything more than what he deserved.

Spiteful mouth and stinging tongue.

Izaya was consistent. He needed to be in the way that he lived amongst many who stood too long in the shadows, holding pipes, bats, guns and knives. He had stood amongst them as well. But even they were frightened of Shizuo, even they didn’t strive to taste the damage the man can give.

And Izaya was thrilled to feel that he could stand next to Shizuo without the fear of pain and death. Even if death was close at hand with their friendship, even when it tied knots between them, and sometimes found its way between Izaya’s teeth, and Shizuo’s wrath.

“Unhealthy.” Celty had said one day, shaking her head, or the helmet that made her head. “It’s unhealthy for the both of you to be like this.”

“I agree,” Izaya told her, and Shinra, both of them gave him odd expressions at the way he phrased it, with glee and reverence to this ideology.

“Why do you provoke him so much if you agree?” Shinra asked, tilting his head to the side, perplexed.

“Easy,” Izaya rose from the couch in their apartment, raising his hand in the air, pointer finger to the ceiling as he declared, “because I enjoy it!”

“Masochist,” Shinra commented.

Izaya let out a laugh that had been building in his chest and he did not deny this, and there was a small part of him that also hated himself for this feeling. It hasn’t faded away since Raira, and he wasn’t sure if it was ever going away.

He sat back down, “I went to a psychiatrist after I graduated,” he told them, earning him more odd looks.  

Celty typed on her PDA and pointed it to him, he read it and nodded. “Are you serious!?”

“Yes. I’m serious. Just because I can be sometimes cruel—”

“Sometimes?” Shinra asked, frowning.

“Yes, sometimes,” Izaya said, “I was curious about this oddly placed obsession. I mean, there’s a lot of people who dismissed me, so why does Shizu-chan inspire such reckless reactions from me without even trying. I can’t get him out of my head, and I have this strongly annoyed feeling whenever he’s not with me.” Izaya shook his head, reaching for his phone to look through the news to see if Shizuo had killed someone yet, or at least destroyed a building. Sometimes he did that, showing up on the news, but there was nothing, no indication of a destruction in Ikebukuro.

“And what did they say?” Shinra asked, leaning close.

Izaya shrugged, setting his phone down on the coffee table. “They said I might be obsessed, or in love.”

“Love?” Shinra asked, baffled, before his expression flattened. “I guess it makes sense.”

“I told the psychiatrist that he must be right,” Izaya shrugged, “and then I paid him for his service and left. I only went to two sessions, and I didn’t think my familial abandonment was wise to bring up any more than it had.”

Shinra glanced at Celty, both of them shaking their heads as Izaya got up.

“Where are you going?” Shinra asked.

Izaya reached for his coat lying on the side of the couch and pulled it on. “I think it’s about time to go see Shizu-chan. I enjoyed these visits, Shinra, I’ll return soon if I have anything else to say, maybe next time, invite me to your hotpot.” With a wave, Izaya left the apartment to look for Shizuo.


	3. Cigarette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya thinks about what he's going to do with Shizuo, while thinking about a time when they weren't so hostile to each other.

Izaya leaned against a fence under the shade of a tree. He was smiling down at his phone, looking up the news reports, and finding something interesting and yet has become unusually normalized in their society. 

There was another destruction created by a man with a flop of blonde hair. Through the brown and grayish smoke, cars were stopped in a line up, their horns going off before metal was torn from the cement, and pedestrians were running and screaming.

This isn’t his fault this time, but he doesn’t mind the redirection of rage flowing from the monsters mouth. 

He had promised once that there was a broken part of broken people when the years go on. And yet most of the humans who have those parts have them torn out, only to regrow new flesh, ignore what had been stripped away. 

Maybe this should’ve been the sign he was meant to remind himself that friendship has its boundaries, and becoming enemies was also those same boundaries. 

He had ripped away the flesh from both of them, and watched as they regrew parts of each other.

It was beautiful.

Unfortunately for his rather angry _friend_ , he regrew bones until he could lift cars, and toss cigarettes to the ground, he was a spark, the match, and the flame. And it gave him power to find someone who wasn’t the same as him.

Izaya knew where he stood between him and everyone else. And he’d rather be in the same space as Shizuo, a violent idiot, than the world and its cascading moments. 

When had he been able to live through someone before? When had it meant something to either of them? And did it ever change them for the better? 

Shizuo had told him it never changed Izaya. That he will always stay the same, and that’s one of the reasons why Shizuo will always be wrong about him. He has changed since their time in high school. Since the moment he had cut him in the chest, and blamed him for numerous crimes until it became relevant for Shizuo to know it was Izaya this entire time.

He could risk it all for the attention of this monster who wasn’t human. He could breathe in the parts of him, and know that their existence meant nothing without one another. 

Maybe that’s the reason why his therapist told him that he needed to think about someone else. Except he couldn’t, and when the answer was given to him, he had considered its truth with a grain of salt before getting up and paying the man. He thanked him for his services and wanted to tell Shinra. 

It was a bit different when they were teenagers. When they were starting out and their friendship was still raw, barely skinned and burned on the sides. 

Izaya had been sitting on a chair inside the same room where he first met Shizu-chan and Dotachin. Shinra was meant to meet him there, but Izaya had gone early to spent a bit of alone time with himself. He had to think about what he was going to do. 

He knew specifically why Shizuo bothered him so much. He heard about his magnificent and frightening strength. And his reputation preceded him, that the other students feared him, and over time, he even gained a lot of enemies, and small bit of admirers. 

For some odd reason, Shizuo attracted others, even if he was a monster. He was their spectacle, a miracle, a strange being that stood in front of them, and disregarded their attempts at communication when all he did was sit in the same room, write his tests, and go out for smoke breaks. 

He was an anomaly that Izaya disliked, and that was what Izaya didn’t understand. He knew Shizuo, he heard of him, he seen him before, but standing in the same room had sent a disturbing feeling coursing in Izaya’s heart. 

He figured it was a sense of dislike, but now that he was thinking it over while flicking off the ash from the tip of his cigarette, he knew it was something else. He just didn’t want to speak it out loud, not until he knew more. 

Izaya sighed. The room was punishing, and he was sweating. He had taken off his Raira coat and draped it over the chair, while pushing against the wall to tip the chair he was sitting on so it’ll balance on both hind legs. He moved back and forth, staring idle out the window he had pushed open so the room wouldn’t be overly suffocated by the smoke. 

Izaya closed his eyes, placing the cigarette to his lips, and leaned his head back. Why couldn’t this be easier? Or was he making this harder than it had to be? 

The door to the room opened and Izaya opened his eyes and narrowed them toward the door, but his heart sent a pained beat in his chest and because of the shock, he accidentally pushed against the wall, and the chair fell back, Izaya landing harshly onto the floor, the cigarette falling from his fingertips. 

He groaned, and almost panicked when he heard the door close before pushing himself up from the ground and looking up, going still with startling surprise when Shizuo knelt down, delicate fingers picking up the discarded cigarette. 

Shizuo’s brown eyes flicked to Izaya, his brows furrowed, and he placed the cigarette to his lips. “You shouldn’t be smoking in here. The teachers will smell it and you’ll be suspended.”

_He...he…he’s talking to me…_

Izaya laughed, his eyes burning with tears as he covered his stomach with his arms. Was this real? This couldn’t be real. Izaya wiped away the tears from his eyes and watched Shizuo walk around the room, looking more irritated than he had when he wandered into the room. 

Izaya’s eyes widened, and his brows raised when Shizuo tore the frame and flicked the cigarette out the window, he even tossed the ashtray. 

Izaya rose to his feet as Shizuo pushed the frame into place and closed the rest of the window. Izaya didn’t want this to end, he never wanted it to end between them. This space that felt secret and special, but Shizuo was already moving to the door, and Izaya moved on instinct to follow him into the hall. 

Shizuo had already pulled out a cigarette when they made their way outside, followed by a lighter, and Izaya was surprised to find himself standing on the curb of the sidewalk, sharing a cigarette.

It was one of those memories that Izaya wanted to tuck away inside of him. They were rare during their time in Raira, and apparently Shizuo had told him once that it was the only time Izaya was tolerable. 

Izaya didn’t mind, he had to find other ways to steal those moments with Shizuo. However, his own ideas became violent ends as the years went on, and they had separated for about two-three years before clashing together again. 

Shizuo had never said friendship, but Izaya had confessed love to Shinra and Celty. He wasn’t even sure if it was true, but it was close enough to it that allowed him to visit Shizuo. 

Izaya skipped along the sidewalk, reading the next few reports before learning the perpetrator hadn’t been found. 

That was fine, Izaya knew where he’d be, and it was about time they visited again. Izaya hadn’t been in Ikebukuro in awhile, and this was a good enough reason. Maybe he could steal another moment, one only between the both of them.

First thing’s first, he wanted to buy a peace offering to secure Shizuo’s temper. It was a risk to go near a uncontrollable monster, but it was a risk Izaya would always take.


	4. Importance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya tries his best to confess, but maybe it's not the right moment for either of them to understand what it means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I returned to this fic because I'm still trying to understand it. I guess it's mostly because I don't really watch the anime anymore, and I'm mostly interested in Izaya, although some people have done analysis' on tumblr, and it kind of made me not want to write the fic anymore. I don't know. I already outlined the story, but I want to add a bit more detail to it. Sorry for the way this fic is updated.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated.

Shizuo tilted his head up and looked at the sky, and sighed. 

He stood on the roof of an abandoned building. It was one of the places he liked to go whenever he lost his temper so he could contemplate. Sometimes even being there made him angry, and he always had to look for an outlet. 

This time, he seemed a little disappointed. “Whenever I don’t want to see you,” he said, turning his head to the side, eyes covered by his sunglasses, but there was obviously a disdained glare beneath them, “you show up anyways.”

Izaya smiled as he walked out of the shadows and waved at Shizuo. “Wow. Almost feels like old times, you know, throwing vending machines at me, sometimes street poles, that one time with the car door, and another time when you actually tossed a car at me.” 

Izaya stopped in front of Shizuo who grimaced at him. He was a lot more intriguing up close, a lot more than most people would think from an odd looking bartender, thin in body structure with a mop of blonde hair. He didn’t look impressive until his massive amount of strength was revealed. His temper didn’t make things easier. 

Not when they were teenagers and Izaya had tried his hardest to become Shizuo’s friend, and most of his attempts were futile. It seemed almost hopeless, even when Shizuo did nothing more but throw things at him, and yell his name across a room. There were some embarrassing moments that made Izaya come to hate him, but over time, even that faded away. 

Besides the one thing that he had brought up to Shinra, and now he wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to say to Shizuo. In high school, some of the girls, and even the boys, would have issues with confessing their feelings towards their target of infatuation. 

Izaya always wondered why that was. When he was a teenager, he hadn’t thought of what he felt was rational, and it only provoked him to do things that most people wouldn’t have done. And that was to walk into chaos itself, and see if he can survive in it. 

And now, he was twenty-four, and he figured that he didn’t just survive it, he thrived and breathed it. The chaos followed in other forms unlike Shizuo’s lack of presence after high school, and during university, Izaya had gone into a bit of dangerous places that some would crave to go near, but would inevitably be too much for them. 

Was he different because of that? He didn’t know, but that wasn’t the point of why he was standing in front of Shizuo who was touching the front of his vest, and frowning.

Izaya slipped his hand into his coat pocket for Shizuo’s present, and pulled it out, smiling up at Shizuo who wore a startled expression at what was in Izaya’s hand. “I love you.” It wasn’t so bad, not as much as he had thought it would be, but it was also worth it to see the confusion on Shizuo’s face as he took the offered cigarette’s Izaya bought before he found Shizuo.

He didn’t say anything and ripped the plastic, flicking the top open and pulling out a thin white cigarette from the box. “Do you want me to pay you back or something?” Shizuo asked. 

“It’s a peace offering, a truce,” Izaya said, tucking his hands into his pockets and strolling toward the staircase that led off of the roof. “I don’t want you throwing things at me, or throwing me...now that would be strange.”

“I never thought of actually throwing you,” Shizuo said, lighting the cigarette before they descended, “but I could barely catch up to you, so I guess it makes sense I just wanted to beat the utter shit out of you before any other ideas popped up.”

Izaya waved his hand and Shizuo passed him the cigarette. “You can buy me coffee.” He took a drag, hoping this small act of obsession could calm his racing heart. 

Shizuo grunted. “That’s all you are, cigarette’s and coffee.”

He glanced up, grinning, the taste of ash staining his tongue. “I hardly think it’s an insult since we both enjoy the implications of the cigarette and a cup of—”

“Milk.”

Izaya frowned. “Coffee.”

Shizuo shook his head, and took back the cigarette between Izaya’s fingers. “I don’t understand why you like it.” He placed it to his lips, and took a drag, obviously trying to calm the rage that was brewing under the surface.

Izaya shrugged, letting out a sigh. “You do drink iced coffee’s.”

“They’re not bitter.”

Izaya didn’t know if he was going to win this argument if Shizuo starts hitting him, and creating more destruction. 

“I bought you those for a peace offering.”

Shizuo scoffed. “You’re the one pissing me off.”

Izaya rolled his eyes. He knew this wasn’t going to work, not like it ever did. Trying to stay on the same page as Shizuo was difficult. “You never did say anything about my confession.”

“That was a confession?” Shizuo muttered, and they had finally reached the bottom floor of the building, and Shizuo led Izaya toward the back door where the handle had obviously been damaged. 

Izaya had also messed with the camera system that was installed behind the building, watching anyone and making sure to catch the culprit for trespassing. Of course, Izaya would have to make sure Shizuo didn’t get caught later on. But he might even let them arrest the idiot since he couldn’t seem to understand a simple confession, or a sign that said _‘No Trespassing on Private Property.’_

When he told Shizuo this, all he did was glare at the street ahead of them. “It’s abandoned, they aren’t doing shit with the place.”

They walk mostly in silence, sharing the cigarette until Shizuo flicks it to the sidewalk and he steps on it. There weren’t many silent moment between them, not when they were kids and all Shizuo knew how to do was scream his name and throw something heavy at him. There was always the fear that Izaya would end up breaking something in one of these infamous fights, but over time, Izaya got good at evading Shizuo, and not once did he ever break a single bone. 

Maybe one time, he sprained his ankle, but he didn’t count that one. 

Izaya sighs as they stand at the corner, waiting for the light to change so it’ll allow them to cross. “I can’t believe it, I confess, and you say nothing about it.”

“I thought you were joking,” Shizuo said, hands tucked in his pant pockets. “Who randomly does that?” 

He doesn’t seem too perturbed by the idea that Izaya had confessed his feelings to Shizuo. The truth, however, felt a bit more jagged than he had hoped. He told Shinra and Celty what he figured it could be, but Izaya could hardly believe it himself. For years, the obsession, or maybe it would be considered, a fixation on Shizuo was never born from love. 

More accurately, hatred. It seemed to have fit their first encounter, and later grew by the time they graduated, and headed in different directions. It changed over time, but Izaya didn’t mind either way. The therapy sessions were meant to help him figure out his thoughts and feelings. 

What he got instead by the time he confessed his feelings was that it was a joke. A joke to Shizuo, the one whom he had been fixated on for so long thought he was telling a joke. 

“You know, this is why I can never take you seriously, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said, wrapping his fingers around the handle of his switchblade. 

Shizuo sneered, “What happened to that truce you were rambling on about?” 

Izaya turned his gaze at Shizuo who was already walking across the street, as casual as he hoped he’d appear. “I’m regretting it.”

“I kind of hoped you would.” Shizuo reached the other side of the street and wrapped his fingers around a pole and squeezed the metal as if it were nothing. The people around him noticed, all of them startled, and the ones who recognized the familiarity stumbled back, away from the two who always stood on either side of the street from one another, and the only one who was able to match Shizuo, not with strength, but with a cunning edge as he took out his switchblade.

Confessing his feelings was the wrong direction when dealing with this monster. He knew that now, and he might even have to figure out a different method. 

“You were never trustworthy,” Shizuo spat, the pole gripped tight in his hand, and his shades tucked in his vest. “I don’t think anyone would even bother to go that far when all you do is lie.”

Izaya rolled his eyes, “And you’ll always be the mindless beast you are.” 

He wouldn’t say it now, but it was something he disliked about their friendship. Or whatever it was called beyond the category of _friendship_. Maybe their outer appearances spoke too much for them to handle that it’ll always end up like this. Destroyed buildings, debris littering the ground, while screams of the people around them ran for their lives. The same old thing that followed them since they first became acquaintances. 

He was only able to bask in the small importance before it was completely ruined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They still have to work some stuff out before it gets somewhere. LOL. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated.


	5. Coffee, Compromise, and Idle Threats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya and Shizuo end up drinking coffee and sharing a cigarette when they're interrupted.

Izaya twirled his cup of coffee and frowned as he leaned against the table. “It went cold…” 

“Then you should’ve drank it,” Shizuo snapped, glaring at him. They sat across from one another in a booth within a coffee shop. They made sure they weren’t recognized after what they’ve done, and Shizuo went and bought him a coffee. 

There was no point in lying, he was surprised Shizuo stopped halfway through and beckoned him to follow into the thick cloud of dust that had risen, and because of the destruction, it also pushed away the people from gawking at them. 

“Were you planning this?” Izaya asked, smiling at Shizuo. “That can’t be right, you’re not that clever.” 

Shizuo glared, drinking his glass of milk. He wasn’t as annoyed as he had been out on the street, but Shizuo expressed a lot more human emotion over time, and Izaya always wanted to catch it before it was consumed by rage. 

“I’m paying you back for the cigarettes.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you accepted my confession,” Izaya said, frowning at his empty cup. “Although another coffee wouldn’t hurt.”

“I thought that was a joke,” Shizuo muttered. 

Izaya rolls his eyes and thinks of the time during Raira when the snow fell upon the city quite hard. It warmed enough that Izaya had knelt down and scooped up enough snow and rolled into a ball. 

“I don’t think you should be doing that,” Kadota said, frowning at Izaya as he straightened, grinning at Shizuo who was walking ahead with Shinra.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Dotachin,” said Izaya, making sure the snow ball was round and smooth before he threw it at the back of Shizuo’s blonde head. The second it made impact, Shizuo stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, while Shinra stumbled back, startled by the sudden attack, but Izaya didn’t mistake the twitching smile appearing on his face. 

“Izaya…” Shinra turned his head and gave him a half-hearted glare. He was never able to hide his excitement, so Izaya just ignored him, and kept his gaze on Shizuo. Just like expected, Shizuo turned around, eyes full of rage, and face almost red from the exertion. 

“You little shit!” 

Izaya let out a laugh as he sprinted along the street away from Shizuo who chased after him. He said his farewells to Kadota and Shinra as he got farther away from them. Shizuo barely let up from his running, so Izaya was glad it wasn’t too cold out, and that the heat of the chase was cooled down by the cold weather. 

By the time they reached the bus stop that they both take, they slowed down and Izaya paid his fare, while giving Shizuo a grin as he sat behind him. 

“I would—”

“I know,” Izaya said, sitting back against his seat. He always liked playing with fire, and this was asking exactly that. However, instead, he was nudged in the arm and looked down to see Shizuo’s hand and between his fingers was his earphone that connected to his phone. 

He plucked it from Shizuo’s fingertips and tucked it into his ear. He never complained about Shizuo’s music, but it wasn’t as annoying to offer complaints in the first place. And somehow, Izaya found himself listening to the same music on Shizuo’s playlist everyday for the last few months since they became friendlier to one another.

He didn't even understand how this happened in the first place. One moment, Shizuo was the type of person that was hard to hide from, but it wasn’t as strained when they got to know one another. Did he have the right to consider it a _friendship_? Instead of complicating the matter, Izaya decided to enjoy the moments he was given. 

As teenagers it seemed confusing, in the present time, Izaya wasn’t so sure if anything ever changed between them. Izaya stared with his elbow on the table, chin cupped in his hand, at Shizuo ordering him another coffee.

He isn’t even sure if he started out liking Shizuo in the way that his psychiatrist explained, or it evolved with their mutual hatred. 

When they first met, and the _monster_ rejected him, he found the entire situation insulting to the point the wound hadn’t closed, even how much they got along with one another. 

Would what he feels be qualified as a crush?

Shizuo walks back over to him and sets the coffee in front of Izaya, and surprised him when he sat back down in his seat. 

Izaya reached for his new coffee and smiled as he opened a part of the clasp, and smelled the fresh bitterness and a hint of sweetness mixed well inside the container. He took a sip, and hummed, and smiled at Shizuo.

“Have you ever considered us friends?” 

Shizuo scoffed, and said, “It’s hard to consider it when you’re always untrustworthy. Barely saying what you mean, and then lying. What am I supposed to think about that? You make it worse when you threaten me, and that time you called the police on me.”

“You did destroy a car…”

“There were times when you called the cops out of fuck all, probably a laugh.” Shizuo was getting worked up by the memory of their complicated past when they graduated high school, and Izaya had gotten worse over time when he met the _wrong_ type of people that helped his career. 

It’s easy to believe Shizuo’s bitter feelings towards him. He had built so many walls around him to make sure no one would ever touch or go near him. And it was durable enough that Shizuo’s monstrous strength couldn’t shatter those walls. Except, Izaya was rotting with the loneliness he put himself through. 

The walls are what made him who he is today. He didn’t want to regret that. And Shizuo would always be the monster he hoped to destroy. 

He’s disappointed by the thought itself. “You’ll always be a monster.” 

“And that adds to the distrust between us,” Shizuo said, glaring out the window. “Our low opinion of one another. To be fair, Izaya, I don’t have any care about what you say, and I felt that for a long time.” He pats his vest where he tucked the pack of cigarettes. “I will thank you for the truce, I ran out.”

Izaya took a sip of his coffee and set it down, frowning at Shizuo and his change in insult to sentiment. “It was the only way to calm a monster, at least the one I’m staring at.”

Shizuo peered at him, and said, “You’re a little strange.”

“Oh, what a nice and comprehensive insult,” Izaya says dryly, picking up his cup again. It was way too good to waste. 

“More stranger than usual,” Shizuo gritted out. “There’s a lot going on inside your head, I know it, I can feel it.” 

How perplexing. “A monster would never understand my thought process, Shizu-chan, you might want to stop straining your lack of intuition.”

Shizuo rolled his eyes and took out his cigarette’s. “Fine, hide behind your masks, not like I care.” He plucked out a cigarette and placed the pack back inside his pocket. “You want a drag?”

Izaya nodded and they both stood. Izaya leaving the empty coffee cup, and taking his own, as he followed Shizuo out of the coffee shop. 

“What should we call that, a date?” Izaya asked, grinning at Shizuo as they headed toward the edge of the building and Shizuo turned into the alley. The lights of the city dimmed around them, and they stepped in puddles and discarded newspapers. The rest of the alley was a lot cleaner than the narrow ones between the buildings, and there weren’t as many people. 

“Don’t call it anything,” Shizuo said, sparking the cigarette and taking a drag from it. 

Izaya walked in silence beside him, sipping occasionally on his coffee. They rarely had moments like this. It seemed somehow unbelievable. He was sure their younger selves would laugh at the notion of this so called truce. Even when they were teens, their truce barely lasted a day. 

Izaya had a knack at destroying things as much as Shizuo, but he did it with much more nuance than the obvious destruction Shizuo created along the streets and buildings. The scattering of glass and upturned cement weren’t new to them.

“I like this more than fighting,” Izaya says, tossing his empty coffee cup into a dumpster they passed. “But I don’t mind the fighting either.”

Shizuo nods, agreeing with the sentiment. “The only time I feel calm is when you’re not being a little lying, scheming, shit.”

How elegant. 

Izaya sighs. “You might as well get over it, our relationship has been up and down for years, and it doesn’t look like it’s about to change any time soon.” It was bitter to think that, and Izaya wasn’t even sure what he wanted from it. More or less. Maybe he should make another appointment with his psychiatrist to understand these feelings. 

Shizuo passes him the cigarette and Izaya takes a drag from it. No one would believe the sight of them actually sharing. Most people wouldn’t know, but they did this many times in Raira without prying eyes. Even Shinra was unaware of it, not like he’d ever notice the change in their behavior. 

When they were about to exit the alley, they were stopped by a group of men and women, all of them holding weapons, and held a strong presence of violence. 

“Well, what is this?” Izaya muttered.

“You didn’t send them to piss me off?” Shizuo asked, glaring at Izaya.

“I would if I wasn’t in the middle of it with _you_.” Izaya glared back. “For once, this isn’t my fault.”

One of the men, tall with cropped brown hair and a tan complexion. He had several jagged scars along his arms and face. He wore a black tank-top, revealing strong muscle on his biceps with a few notable tattoos. He seemed tough enough to be considered the leader of this group, and wasn’t scared to sneer at Izaya and Shizuo.

Izaya didn’t want Shizuo to get mad, not yet. So he passed him their shared cigarette so he could do something, and stepped forward. “You’re in our way.”

The leader of this riled group glared heavily. “Fucking scrawny bastard thinks he’s hot shit.”

Izaya snickered, “I actually do think I am, if you know my reputation, if not, then this is a really bad idea on your end.”

“We were sent to make a lesson out of you two,” the leader said, his voice low, no sign of a tremble. “We were given your names and the location.”

Izaya blinked, that was interesting. “Location. This person who sent you knew where we were and made sure you were standing here, right now, at this precise moment?” That was intriguing when the gang leader or pawn didn’t correct him. 

“Do you want to take care of this,” Shizuo said as Izaya glanced over his shoulder at him, and Izaya smirked at Shizuo’s rather dark grin, a lot more malicious, thrumming with violence than this group, “or should I?”

Izaya wrapped his fingers around his switchblade, and pulled it out from his coat pocket. He turned back to the group of about twelve men and eight women. “No, I’ll take care of it this time.” The switchblade came free, and Izaya couldn’t help holding back his own excitement.

He didn’t think these people were dumb enough to challenge them, but when he moved, he did with purpose and interest in what they know, and who had sent them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I was wondering if Izaya knows how to drive. I only seen him walking around, or being driven around. But does he know how to drive himself? I haven't read the light novels, so I'm not really sure of any other details that Izaya has without the anime's material being the only source of canon events. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated.


	6. Wired

“So?”

“I’m looking, leave me alone.” 

Shizuo dropped the cigarette and stamped it out while Izaya dug through a few pockets, tossing several wallets behind him. Most of the men that stood in the back of the group had run off when Izaya overwhelmed the first few, and it seemed they were mostly scared because out of all people, Heiwajima Shizuo was taking drags of his cigarette and watching with little care. 

Once Izaya finished, he was curious who had sent them and why, so he started digging through pockets, slashing the fabric of a few of their clothes, anything of value was left on the ground before he reached over to the leader of their little group, and lifted it him by the collar of his baggy shirt. 

Izaya grinned down at the man, placing the blade against his throat. “Who sent you?”

“Didn’t...see,” the man murmured through his rather dazed state.

Izaya sighed and dropped the man before stepping over his body and walking over to Shizuo. He pocketed the switch blade, glancing to either side and finding no one else standing besides them.

“This is your fault,” Shizuo states.

Izaya isn’t surprised by the accusation. “I’m telling you the truth, Shizu-chan, this isn’t my fault. I didn’t send these people to kill us, that’s...preposterous.” He really did want to know who had sent them, and why? Most gangs knew of Shizuo’s reputation, and would be smart enough not to piss him off in case they wanted to get their asses kicked, while Izaya walked on the side lines, or in other words, the shadows with other organizations that weren’t personally affiliated with the lower rank color gangs unless it mattered enough to get involved, and other times, they were used as distractions or intel.

At least to Izaya they were used more like pawns in his grand schemes, but he wouldn’t have done this without good reason. And that would be to piss off Shizuo, not have Izaya in the crossfire.

Another group of thumping from far away was growing louder as more appeared from around the corner. They seemed insulted by their own people lying on the ground, all of them gad been doing damage to one another while Izaya perfectly maneuvered each and everyone of them like chess pieces without truly doing much else until he was the only one standing. 

Their gazes flitted to Shizuo and Izaya who didn’t have a scratch on them.

“Fucking bitches!” One of the men in the group yelled, riling up the others.

Izaya sighed, about to reach into his pocket for his switchblade, but Shizuo stepped past him, and pushing up his sleeves. “Oh, are you taking care of this yourself?” he asked, finally able to relax.

“Shut up, flea.” 

Izaya stood by and watched Shizuo threaten the group which just his presence. He rarely gave anyone time to run, his anger always took center stage, and he performed quite well to Izaya’s amusement. Once he finished, Izaya strolled over to Shizuo as the second group ended up on the ground, twitching from their injuries. Izaya stepped in while Shizuo was about to break a man’s arm like a twig.

“I need information,” Izaya said, placing a hand on Shizuo’s arm before rounding the man who was placed in an awkward position, his face tight with pain. “Hello, mind asking me some questions before my _friend_ breaks your arm?”

The man whimpered, and Izaya smiled pleasantly.

“Izaya,” Shizuo warned.

“I need leverage, and his bones will do quite nicely,” said Izaya.

“You could do it while he has a broken arm.”

“I think a perfectly uninjured arm is good leverage.”

Shizuo was quiet for a second before commenting, “You’re cold.”

Izaya smiled at the whimpering man. “You’re the one wanting me to torture him with his broken arm.” He waved at Shizuo when he was about to say something. “No. It doesn’t matter, I don’t care if I’m cold. All I want to know is who had sent this man and his group of friends.”

“And you want this as leverage?”

“It’s not like we have a gun.”

“You have a knife,” Shizuo pointed out.

“True,” Izaya said, smirking up at him, “but right now, emotional stuff needs to be pushed to the side so I can do this right, or we’ll never know.”

“I do see the logic." Shizuo sighed, keeping the man perfectly leveled, while he let out a low groan. “Besides the cruelty.”

Izaya wasn’t sure what that was meant to mean to him, but right now, he needed to find out the truth. They were sent in hoards, and he wondered if they were paid, or someone lied to them.

“Who gave you the money to do this?” Izaya asked, looking into the man’s watery blue eyes. “Did you see them face-to-face of any chance?”

“We...were wired the money,” the man said. 

“And?” Izaya asked, curious if there was more. 

“And...we were…going to get the rest of it after the...job was done.” And then he started to scream and Shizuo let go of the man while he crumpled along with the rest of his friends. 

Izaya glanced up at Shizuo. “Do you ever restrain yourself more than five minutes?”

Shizuo scowled. “I didn’t mean too…”

“Stupid Shizu-chan.” Izaya shook his head, unsure if he wanted to believe him in what he said. 

“I’m getting a terrible flashback from the times you said that,” Shizuo said, tipping his head back to look at the sky.

He didn’t get anything from the man, and he didn’t care to interrogate him while he whimpered on the ground with a broken arm. The group didn’t know anything. The person who had done this made sure they weren’t found out by anyone.

“Maybe I can figure this out,” Izaya said, walking down the alley. Stuff like this spreads, he’ll find out who done it sooner or later.

“I found you really annoying when were teenagers,” Shizuo said, walking beside him. “You were both annoying and smart...but also an asshole.” Izaya could barely think with Shizuo reminiscing about the past. “Yet you had no friends, and then you’d act all superior than everyone else.”

Izaya glanced at Shizuo. “Didn’t think an idiot like you would be perceptive, and I am superior than everyone, even you, Shizu-chan.”

“Well, I’m leaving before I’m attacked again,” Shizuo said, walking down another street, away from Izaya who stared, confused by what Shizuo was going on about before heading the other way. He needed to go home, maybe he can smoke the person out by a wide-spread search.

It wasn’t long until Izaya walked through his front door, kicking off his shoes and sighing at the sight of Namie sitting on the black leather couch, her papers and files lying on the tables, including her laptop. She glanced at him flatly before looking back at her work.

“Not even going to ask me how my day was?” he asked her.

“I don’t particularly care,” she answered.

He plopped down beside her. “I’ll tell you anyway.” And he told her everything that went on, and mostly spoke about Shizuo, then dramatically told her about the fights they both were in. She didn’t seem to care as she wrote down notes on her papers, and looked through a few files before categorizing the papers.

“I really don’t care,” she said when he got up from the couch after he finished his story. 

“I still have to figure out who is after us,” he said, walking around the couch toward his work area. “They did their research, and were watching us, finding their opportunity the moment we were alone. I’m not entirely sure why they bothered.”

“Did they want to kill the both of you?” Namie asked.

“Of course they wanted us both killed,” he said, sitting down in his chair, “we do have notorious reputations that are known around the districts.”

“Depends on the person who look into that sort of thing,” Namie told him. “Most people don’t care. And when they look for you, it’s not the type who look for Shizuo.”

She was right. Izaya turned his laptop on while placing down the pack of cigarettes he had bought for Shizuo. The peace offering. He let his hand linger for only a moment before going to work.

 


End file.
